it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
