Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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