I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
