weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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