We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
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