i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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