I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
