At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
