This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
