She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
