Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
