we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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