I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
