I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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