no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
