when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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