operation harelip BJ is a go
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
