It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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