Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
