you would pick up someone in the library
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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