you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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