Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
