Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
