Can Purell be used as lube?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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