Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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