did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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