She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
