I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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