But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
