I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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