Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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