whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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