i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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