WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
