I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I think your dad took our porno
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
