Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
