That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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