whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
