I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
