my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
