i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
