We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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