she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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