I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
