you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
