found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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