Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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