What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
