lets start a swedish sibling band together
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
