Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
