i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
